Alter Aeon Boards and Forums

All Boards - Back to the Main Board List.
Board Name - [Obsolete] The Humor Board Room

Prev Msg   - Feb 21 13:21 (firebird) The Universe Plays Poker
Next Msg   - Feb 22 13:06 (firebird) The Bastard Operator From Hell I

Date:    Feb 21 13:23
From:    firebird
Subject: Words That don't Exist...But Should
------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn
the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming,
of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times,
reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back
down to give the vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow
"remove" all the germs.

4. ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for
one armrest in a movie theater.

5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept
onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he
finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the
"open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to
the "illegal" side.

7. PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose
sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want
ground pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone
number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a
dog presses its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always
letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when
you're six inches away.

11. ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and fold a
road map at the same time.

12. AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point at which the stream of
drinking water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from
(a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

13. BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more
torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

14. BUZZACKS (buz' acks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up
display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the
phones are not connected.

15. DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by
asking, "Do you work here?"

16. ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in
the rear-view mirror.

17. EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at
the movies who, no matter which direction you lean in, follow suit.

18. ELECELLERATION (el a sel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the
more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

19. NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to
come to life.


Comments are property of the poster and may not reflect the
views of the admin or staff of Alter Aeon.

To respond to this message, you must be logged into the game.