demon horns mascot
Alter Aeon logo
alteraeon.com 3000

Alter Aeon Boards and Forums



All Boards - Back to the Main Board List.
Board Name - [Obsolete] The Humor Board Room

Prev Msg   - Mar  1 14:36 (firebird) Ears
Next Msg   - Mar  1 14:51 (firebird) Sex, is that all the world cares ...

Date:    Mar  1 14:42
From:    firebird
Subject: 25 Interesting Quirks About Computers in Movies
------------------------------------------------------------------------

01. Word processors never display a cursor.

02. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

03. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

04. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some  
such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical  
interfaces.

05. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command 
shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain 
English.

06. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply 
typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

07. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by  
simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, 
just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke  blows out of disk 
drives and monitors.

08. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the 
villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

09. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the 
screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so 
that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The really advanced ones 
also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come 
across the screen.

10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just 
underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a 
puff of  smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that  forces you 
backward. See #07,  above)

11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the 
data.

12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before 
intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be 
accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data 
at two gigabytes per second.

15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control 
panels will explode, as will the entire building.

16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it 
also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file 
--  and there are no undelete utilities.

17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a 
password when you try to access it.

18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any 
system you put it into. All application software is usable by all 
computer  platforms.

19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, 
everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't 
labelled.

20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying  three 
dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing 
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.

22. Whenever a character looks at a Monitor, the image is so bright that 
it projects itself onto his/her face.

23. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans 
operating computers never make mistakes under stress..

24. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down 
users.

25. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom 
into any picture as far as you want to.  Example: What's that  fuzzy 
thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon! 
Let's look under the bed for the killer's shoes. No,  just some comics 
books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...


Comments are property of the poster and may not reflect the views of the admin or staff of Alter Aeon. To respond to this message, you must be logged into the game.

This page has been referenced 1056 times since last boot.



Copyright (C) 2015 DentinMud Internet Services - Contact Us