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Date:    Mar  6 19:42
From:    firebird
Subject: Short Bar Jokes
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Two drunks sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex 
life. One looks out the window, and accross the road is a sheep stuck 
half way thru a fence, with its butt facing the tavern. 

One drunk says he sure wishes that sheep were Marilyn Monroe.

The other says, "I just wish it were dark."

========================================================================

These two buddies are sitting at the bar in a singles` club and talking 
about another guy sitting at the other end of the bar. "I don`t get it," 
complained the first guy, "He`s not good looking, he has absolutely no 
taste in clothes, and he drives a beat up wreck of a car, yet he always 
manages to go home with the most beautiful women here!"

"Yeah," replies his buddy, "He`s not even a very good conversationalist, 
all he does is sit there and lick his eyebrows."

========================================================================

A man walks into a tavern and sees a jarful of cash on the bar. He asks 
the bartender what the jar of cash is for and the bartender says "If you 
can make my horse laugh, you win the money."  So, the man walks around 
back of the tavern, whispers in the horses ear and the horse starts 
laughing and snorting and stomping his hooves. The man walks back into 
the tavern and takes the jar of cash.  

A few weeks later, the same man walks into the tavern and sees another 
jar of cash on the bar.  He asks the bartender what the jar of cash is 
for and the bartender says "My horse hasn't stopped laughing since you 
were in here last and if you can make my horse stop laughing you win the 
money."

So the man walks around the back of the tavern and everyone hears the 
loudest sobbing and crying coming from the horse.  The man walks up to 
the bar and reaches for the jar of cash.  "Hold on a minute, says the 
bartender. I've gotta know what you said to that horse."

"Well," says the man, "the first time I came in, I told him that my dick 
was bigger than his."  

"And the second time?" Asked the bartender.  

"I showed him." said the man.


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