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Date:    2016 Apr 28 15:32
To:      all
From:    malificent
Subject: Blind Jokes
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Being a blind person myself  I found some of these to be amusing, enjoy :p
1.  How did a blind woman pierce her ear? She answered the stapler 2.  A
teacher at a school for the blind is taking the school's soccer team to an
away game. They stopped for a rest and let the kids run around to run off
some energy and get some practice in a nearby pasture.  The teacher is
sitting in a nearby diner explaining to another patron how it is that blind
kids can play soccer. "We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the
kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening
to it. Their pretty good at it too." "Very clever!" remarks the other
patron. Just then, they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking
out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids and
the bus?" "Yes" says the teacher, stung by the way his kids are being
referred to. "What about it? You have something against blind kids?"
"Nothing ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "But you
better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the hell out of my best
milk cow!" 3.  A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a dog stopped
and cocked it's leg against him. The blind man felt in his pocket for a
sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A passerby remarked what a
kind act that was considering what the dog had done. "Not at all" said the
blind man, "I only wanted to find out which end to kick." 4.  One day at an
airport, passengers are waiting anxiously for the pilot to arrive so they
can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the
plane and begin walking up the center aisle to the cockpit. Both appear to
be blind  the pilot is using a white cane, the co-pilot is using a guide
dog. At first, the passengers don't react, thinking that it must be some
sort of practicle joke. After a few minutes, the engine starts revving, and
the airplane begins moving down the runway. The passengers look at each
other with uneasiness. They start whispering amongst themselves and look to
the stewardesses for reassurance.  Yet, the plane starts accelerating
rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the
plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are
becoming more and more hysterical. When the plane has less than 20 feet of
runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as
everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and
is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and
tells the pilot "You know, one of these days, the passengers aren't going
to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!" 5.  What is the
difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can't see to go,
and the other can't go to sea. 6.  Why are bats blind? Well, your eye sight
wouldn't be too good if you hung upside down all day, now would it? 7. 
What did a blind boy's parents do to punish him? They rearranged the
furniture


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