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Prev Msg   - Feb 19 15:46 (firebird) Microsoft Panhandling
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Date:    Feb 19 15:48
From:    firebird
Subject: Microsoft Keyboards
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Microsoft Corporation has just announced a new PC keyboard designed
specifically for Windows. {{Sources say a Macintosh variant is in the
works.}}  In addition to the keys found on the standard keyboard, 
Microsoft's new design adds several new keys which will make your 
Windows computing even more fun!  The final specs are not yet set, so 
please feel free to make suggestions.  The keys proposed so far are:

 1) GPF key--This key will instantly generate a General Protection
 Fault when pressed.  Microsoft representatives state that the purpose
 of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need to
 run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault.

 2) $$ key--When this key is pressed, money is transferred
 automatically from your bank account to Microsoft without the need for
 further action or third party intervention.

 3) ZD key--This key was developed specifically for reviewers of
 Microsoft products.  When pressed it inserts random superlative
 adjectives in any text which contains the words Microsoft or Windows
 within the file being edited.

 4) MS key--This key runs a Microsoft commercial entitled Computing
 for Mindless Drones in a 1 x 1 window.

 5) FUD key--Some thing to do with the Display.......Self explanatory.

 6) Chicago key--Generates do-nothing loops for months at a time.

 7) IBM key --Searches your hard disk for operating systems or
 applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.



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