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Date:    Feb 17 22:53
From:    firebird
Subject: Firebird vs. Microsoft...Round 1
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The ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in
South Georgia:

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders

2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle

3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty
bag

4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naw

5. Instead of Ta-Da!, the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos

6. The Recycle Bin in Winders '95 would be an outhouse

7. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
redneck yelling Freebird!

8. Instead of Start Me Up, the Winders '95 theme song would be
Achy-Breaky Heart

9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt

10. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul
C++

11. Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag

12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word

13. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.

14. New Shutdown WAV: Y'all come back now!

15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called Cuz

16. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am

17. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse

18. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver

19. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire

20. Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
your front yard

21. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator

22. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates



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