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Date:    2006 Aug  4 01:16
From:    maul
Subject: The Evil Contractor Part 1
------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I am sitting here mudding after talking with customers for 3 
hours and filling out only 3 contracts because the customers are 
utterly stupid, when the phone rings again. I pick it up and with 
my "sweet as pie" voice answer.

'Hello, Boss Roofing, Contractor Mike Edwards speaking, how may 
I help you?'

'Hi, I need my 4 story shingle roof done, and I need it done now.'

I close my eyes as an evil grin that could make a cows alignment
 instantly drop to -999 prime evil spreads across my face. Ohh, 
he needs it done now does he? Give me a dirty job to do and tell
 me you need it done now?

I reply happily, 'Okay, what is your name?'

'Dan Roberts.'

'Ohh, I see you have an account with us. Well then, I guess we will
 have to take care of you right away!' I say, as I open up his 
account and zip through it, noticing he has a 220,000.00 dollar 
downpayment with us, with 72,162.73 dollars remaining.

'Okay Dan, I need to know the squarage of your roof, what year of 
shingles, color, and how much valley and everything else you need. 
Just the big stuff, we can work out little details later.' I say, 
trying to remain calm.


'It is an 8/12 pitch, 240 bundle job. I want 40 year XDL Cathedral 
Red shingles. There is 280 feet of metal valley that needs replaced, 
and two old layers of shingles I need removed. I have 8 sky lights 
that will need to be removed and reinstalled, 2 satalight dishes, and
 14 roof vents. I would like 4 more added for a total of 18.' He 
replies in a chipper voice as if it is an easy job to do, or an easy
 contract to fill out.

'Well Mr.Roberts, may I call you Dan? Thanks. I am printing that off 
right now (I would really have to handwrite that all out because I 
am out of ink), then I will fax it to the big boss. I could make a
couple calls seeing as how you have an account with us, and we could
probably squeeze you in tomorrow.'


'Really!? Thanks! I figured you guys would be swamped with big hard 
jobs, I was guessing sometime next month!'

*twitch*

Big jobs? Hard ones? No, this wouldn't be one of them?

'How will you be paying Dan for your little roof Dan?' 

'With some of my remaining downpayment.'

'What downpayment?'

'The two hundred thousand dollar downpayment with seventy thousand 
something dollars remaining...' He says, his voice now quivering slightly.

'Your account isn't showing a downpayment Dan.' -delete- 'You still have 
your papers for it don't you?'

'I well... no, not exactly! I lost them somwhere!'

'Gee, isn't that convenient. Call me, make this great big order, wait till
 I fax the papers then tell me you can't pay. Good-bye.'




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