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Prev Msg   - Mar  7 14:30 (firebird) How To Be an Evil Overlord Part I
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Date:    Mar  7 14:30
From:    firebird
Subject: How To Be an Evil Overlord Part II
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Slayer's so cute he makes me mess my pants.

21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad
    scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently 
    twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage 
    hes caused.

22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, theres 
    just one thing I want to know."

23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to 
    their advice.

24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt 
    to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal 
    distraction at a crucial point in time.

25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was 
    evil, but one look at the heros rugged countenance and shed betray 
    her own father.

26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in
    maniacal laughter. When so occupied, its too easy to miss 
    unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could 
    adjust to accordingly.

27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms
    for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that
    make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or 
    savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my 
    troops to have a more positive mind-set.

28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I
    will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops 
    in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my
    power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons
    useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages 
    armed with spears and rocks.

30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and 
    weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, 
    at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM     
    INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)

31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort
    of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small
    and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

32. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there
    is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill
    me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to
    my bedchamber.

33. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same 
    reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all 
    times.

34. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will immediately
    flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct the defenses 
    from there. I will not wait until the troops break into my inner 
    sanctum to attempt this.

35. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot
    escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.

36. Even though I don`t really care because I plan on living forever, I
    will hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy 
    enough that, if I am slain, it won   tumble to the ground for no 
    good structural reason.

37. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies 
    into confusion.

38. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and 
    cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My 
    foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no 
    source of comic relief.

39. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with
    surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected
    reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.

40. Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously resurrect 
    a secondary character who has given up his/her life through self
    sacrifice will be


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