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Date:    Feb  9 22:24
From:    arawn
Subject: The Castaway Engineer
------------------------------------------------------------------------
     A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to
the Caribbean.  It was the craziest thing he had ever done in his life.
     Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon
the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy.  Somehow the engineer
desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a
secluded island.  Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring fed pool, bananas
and coconuts, there was little else.  He lost all hope and for hours on
sat under the same palm tree.
    One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small
rowing boat appeared.
     I'm from the other side of the island," she said.  "Were you on the
cruise ship too?
     "Yes I was," he answered.  "But where did you get that rowboat?"
     "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, with reinforced
gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus
tree.
     "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
     "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the
south side of the island.  I discovered that if I fired it to a certain
temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron.  Anyhow,
that's how I got the tools.  But enough of that," she said.  "Where do
you live?  I don't see any shelter."
     "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
     "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.
     "The engineer nodded dumbly.  She expertly rowed them around to her
side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-
woven hemp, topped with a neat black splice.  They walked up a winding
stone walk she had laid around a Palm tree.  There stood an exquisite
bungalow painted in blue and white.  It's not much, but I call it home.
     Inside, she said, Sit down please, would you like to have a drink?
     "No thanks," said the man.  "One more coconut juice and I'll throw
up!
     "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied.  "I have a crude
still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas.
     Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they
sat down on her couch to talk.  After they had exchanged stories, the
woman asked, Tell me, have you always had a beard?
     "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all my life until I ended
up on this island.
     "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs to the bath-
room and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp.
Next he showered, not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she
managed to get warm water in to the bathroom, and went back downstairs.
He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved bannister as he walked.
     "You look great," said the woman.  "I think I'll go up and slip into
something more comfortable.  As she did, the man continued to sip his
Pina Colada.  After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias
returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
     "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time
with no companionship.  You know what I mean.  Have you been lonely...is
there anything that you really, really miss?  Something that all men
and women need?  Something that would be great right about now!
     "Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness.  "There
is something I've wanted to do for so long.  But on this island all alone
it was just...well, it was impossible.
     "Well, it's not impossible anymore," the woman said.
     "The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly:
You mean you've actually figured out a way to MUD here?



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