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Prev Msg   - Mar  7 14:31 (firebird) How To Be an Evil Overlord Part IV
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Date:    Mar  7 14:31
From:    firebird
Subject: How To Be an Evil Overlord Part V (finally)
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SLAYER!!! I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABY!!!

81. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals,
    the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked 
    as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. 
    The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow
    Containment.

82. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone 
    who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for
    fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that
    sequence will trigger the alarm system.

83. If I capture the heros starship, I will keep it in the landing bay
    with the ramp down, only a few token guards on duty and a ton of
    explosives set to go off as soon as it clears the blast-range.

84. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be
    instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a
    full-scale emergency.

85. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is
    only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer
    is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, theyd
    better save my life again.

86. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be
    delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in
    foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures 
    of the wild.

87. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always
    travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if 
    one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will
    immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of
    quizzically peering around a corner.

88. If I decide to test a lieutenants loyalty and see if he/she should 
    be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen
    standing by in case the answer is no.

89. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and
    begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of
    using my unstoppable superweapon on them.

90. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged
    contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them
    to win.

91. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that 
    my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will 
    not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of 
    my desk.

92. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse,
    instead of standing around waiting while members break off and 
    attack one or two at a time.

93. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and 
    struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge.

94. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless 
    trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet 
    access.


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