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Date:    Feb 21 13:17
From:    firebird
Subject: Things That Will Really Scare People in Public Toilets
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "may 
   I borrow a highlighter?"

2.  Say, "uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.  Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a 
    bodily function noise.

4.  Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.  Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.  Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.  Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope 
    into the toilet bowl from a height of six feet. Sigh relaxingly. 

8.  Say, "Now how did that get in there."

9.  Say, "Humus.  Reminds me of humus."

10.  Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically 
     under the stall walls of your neighbor's while yelling, "Whoa! 
     Easy boy!" 

11.  Say, "Interesting............. more floaters than sinkers.'"

12.  Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet 
     paper and drop the wad under the stall of your neighbor.  Then say, 
     "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

13.  Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me now."

14.  Fill a balloon with cream corn. Rush into the stall with your hand 
     over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you 
     squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize 
     profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for 
     breakfast. 

15. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggott."

16. Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what 
    am I gonna do?"

17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt     
    cheeks. 

18.  Before you un-roll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your 
     "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the 
     adjacent stall.

19.  Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you 
     can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20.  Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born 
     Free."



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