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Date:    Aug 21 14:55
From:    firebird
Subject: You know you live in ... when...
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You Know You Are In San Francisco, when....

Your co-worker tells you they have 8 body piercings but none are
visible.

When someone says TENDERLOIN - you don't think of steak. You think of
danger.

You make over $100,000 and still can't afford a house.

You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation
in English.

You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know
the drivers have never seen it.

You can't remember... is pot illegal?

You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a
sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown and
can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.

A really great parking space can move you to tears.

You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting from
Ohio.

You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits.

Your boss runs in "The Bay to Breakers".... it's the first time you
have seen him/her nude.

Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and
is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they still
need to ask if the teacher is male or female.

You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide between
yoga, aromatherapy, conversational mandarin or a building your own web
site class.

You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved
to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your
life depended on it.

A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You
don't notice.

A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.

You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting from
the midwest.

You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a

tourist.

You keep a list of companies to boycott.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy in
drag.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Top Twenty Signs You're from New York

I originally had "The cortland crowd should love this" Then I realized
that those turds live out in the BFE of NY.  I'm from the city myself...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means
Manhattan.

2. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.

3. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
Building.

4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from
Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long
weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

5. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

6. The subway makes sense.

7. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.

8. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own
language makes you multilingual. [Ed. I'll give ya a vergazo upside your
                                  head ya dirty schmuck.]

9. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

10.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big
Apple".

11.Your door has more than three locks.

12.You go to a hockey game for the fighting.  In the stands.  To
participate.

13.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

14.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

15.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

16.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

17.You complain about having to mow it.

18.You are a skee-ball juggernaut.

19.You consider Westchester "Upstate".

20.You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Judge
Wapner.


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