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Prev Msg   - Mar  7 14:30 (firebird) How To Be an Evil Overlord Part III
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Date:    Mar  7 14:31
From:    firebird
Subject: How To Be an Evil Overlord Part IV
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Your place or mine Slayerpoo?

61. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology
    with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it 
    will not immediately come after me for revenge.

62. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, 
    I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send 
    them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the 
    local paper.

63. My main computers will have their own special operating system that
    will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh
    powerbooks.

64. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While
    elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses,
    they are hard to close quickly in an emergency.

65. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the
    conditions in the beautiful princess cell, I will immediately
    transfer him to a less people-oriented position.

66. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to
    examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned
    tunnels that I might not know about.

67. If the beautiful princess that I captures says "I`ll never marry 
    you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill
    her.

68. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to
    double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.

69. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place 
    in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important
    covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if
    there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less
    attention.

70. My legions of terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who
    cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for
    target practice.

71. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will 
    carefully read the owners manual.

72. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose
    dramatically and toss off a one-liner.

73. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.

74. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any 
    code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 
    seconds, it will not be used.

75. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad
    scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies
    them.

76. I will never accept a challenge from the hero.

77. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding
    structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a
    firefight.

78. I will not engage an enemy single-handedly until all my soldiers are
    dead.

79. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And
    they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going
    through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.

80. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely
    unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to 
    be a disadvantage.


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