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Prev Msg   - Mar  7 14:30 (firebird) How To Be an Evil Overlord Part II
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Date:    Mar  7 14:30
From:    firebird
Subject: How To Be an Evil Overlord Part III
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Does anyone else think Slayer's the sexiest man in the world?

41. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad 
    news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are 
    hard to come by.

42. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes 
    and with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some 
    monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to 
    know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. 
    That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever 
    comes along.

43. I won        require high-ranking female members of my organization to 
    wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual
    dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will
    be reserved for formal occasions.

44. I will not employ devious schemes that involve the heros party
    getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.

45. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.

46. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look 
    diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of 
    Generation X.

47. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell 
    block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I 
    will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of 
    handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.

48. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a
    battle, I will believe him. After all, hes my trusted lieutenant.

49. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring
    anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead
    of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance 
    towards me in my old age.

50. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at
    the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my 
    opposite number among his army.

51. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable
    superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead
    of keeping it in reserve.

52. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel
    devices.

53. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or 
    being executed.

54. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, 
    monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable 
    of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.

55. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the
    beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good
    looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on 
    my plans.

56. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work
    for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the 
    odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.

57. I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can 
    be neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talismen.

58. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible
    for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I
    will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the 
    price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random 
    underling.

59. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one
    man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.

60. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I 
    will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting 
    for him to mature.


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