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Date:    Feb 21 12:53
From:    firebird
Subject: Operating System Test
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's a simple test to see what operating system you should use. Take
a gun, point it at your ear, and pull the trigger. Here's how to
interpret the results:

1.) You're still alive and uninjured, because you were intelligent
enough to either not pull the trigger or aim away from you. Hmmmm.
You're intelligent, so you're an obvious Windows NT user

2.) You're still alive an uninjured, because you tried to shoot yourself
and missed. Sigh... You are obviously a DOS user. No way are you
going to cope with any sort of menuing system (double cick here, right
click there), if you can't even shoot yourself in the HEAD!

3.) You're still alive, but injured, because although you hit yourself
in the head, you are so tough you survived. Well, although you seem to
be rather stupid to actuallly try and shoot yourself, yet with that
constitution... Must use Win95, 'cause to do so you need to be stupid,
yet have a constitution that will survive the endless banging of your
head against the wall and the 57th consecutive blue death error screen.

4.) Your lying on the floor, dead. Ouch, what a lameo LOOOOOSER. You
obviously have fewer brain cells than the average USA sucks poster.
Get a Mac.

5.) Nothing happened! While continuing to brag about your gun,
you realize the gun has no bullets because this model, though
very state of the art, has no 3rd party support...and
no manufacturer has produced any ammunition for it. You spend
the remainder of your days in an insane asylum, zealously
insisting that there are really thousands of types of ammunition
available and that everyone is actually using your type of
weapon. Eventually, you go reluctantly into that good night with
a cheap, powerful, and widely used weapon from Micromunitions...
Obviously, you must be an OS/2 user...

6.) Your $40,000 handgun fires 6000 rounds in rapid succession...
somehow they all miss you... but one kills your boss. Looking at
the gun, you see it doesn't look like the guns most people use
and it's covered with crytic switches and two letter abbreviations.

Since you've expended all your ammo and still haven't finished
the job, you go to your local store for more ammo. The store
carries thousands of brands and types of ammo, but none works
with your gun. So you call the manufacturer and he offers to
sell you another 6000 rounds for $10/round and charge you $150/hour
to install the ammo in your gun. Still not willing to give up,
you talk to gnu-munitions. The give you a bag of powder, two lead
balls and a piece of flint --- for FREE! However, since they
offer no support, you don't know how to use them. Undaunted, you
try to jam the lead ball in the end of your gun --- it
doesn't fit
but the effort destroys the rifling in the
barrel.

Apparently you are a unix user...

Sorry if I've offended anybody--this should be taken in the spirit it
was given.


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