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Date:    Feb 24 16:56
From:    zeus
Subject: Badass Johnny learns the alphabet
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Badass Johnny is a kindergardener, and his teacher is teaching the
students their abc's. Her method of doing this is to say a letter and then
ask the children to give a word that starts with this letter. She starts
at the beginning, "Ok, who can tell me a word that starts with the letter
A?" Well the children are reluctant to answer but Badass Johnny in the
back of the class raises his hand.  Now, the teacher knows of Badass
Johnny and his dirty mouth, so she knows he will say something bad like
ass, or asshole. So she calls on Lisa, who answers with Apple, how sweet.
The teacher then asks the class for a word starting with the letter B.
Again, no one wants to answer but Badass Johnny is in the back and  he's
raising both hands and looking pretty enthusiastic. The teacher doesn't
want to call on him because she knows that he'll say bitch or something
like that, so she calls on Mary who answers with Bear.  The teacher then
asks for a word starting with C, and gets the same result, only Badass
Johnny is getting pretty perturbed right now and he's about to fall out of
his chair wiaving his hands frantically. She instead calls on Bob who
answers with Cat. The teacher asks for a word with D and  little Joey
answers with Dog. Well, Badass Johnny is pretty pissed now, he has gotten
out of his chair and is  jumping up and down with anticipation. The
teacher moves on to the letter E, and thinks to herself, "you know,  i
can't think of any bad words that start with E, i'll give Johnny a chance
this time. Ok Johnny, what word do you have that starts with E." Badass
Johnny replies, "Elf!" The teacher is baffled, elf, that's a good word.
"Very good Johnny, elf is a very good word." To this Badass Johnny
replies, "yeah, you know, elves, those little fuckers with really little
bitty dicks!!!!" 


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